“Happy 2nd Birthday… Please don’t get any bigger now!”
“My baby has gotten so big :(”
“I wish they could stay this age forever.”
“Ok, stop getting older now!”
These are all things I hear/ read parents say about their children on a regular basis.
And although many of them are just joking, there is sometimes a little more to these comments I believe.
Some parents who feel like this may be making unconscious choices that result in exactly this….
In their children not growing up!
Now, I don’t mean they magically stop time and the inevitable ageing process. I mean they end up doing so much for their children, that they’re not giving them the chance to learn things themselves.
Ever met a teenager who has no idea how to use a washing machine?
When I went off to university I was genuinely shocked at the amount of young adults I met who couldn’t do fundamental things like cook a basic meal, wash their own clothes, manage their time. These were always things I was encouraged to do at home by my parents.
So seeing this baffled me.
I think it’s something so many parents unconsciously do and even less parents talk about. It’s kind of a taboo subject I think.
Nobody really wants to be the “this is what you should be doing” advice parent.
And of course some parents with children on the spectrum do the exact same thing. They do things for them, speak for them, set things up for them… so much so that their child either doesn’t know how to do it themselves or just doesn’t bother to.
It’s a common trap to fall into I think, especially if your child has limited language. Speaking for a child on the spectrum can seem like the only thing to do at times.
But I strongly believe that actually, people should just be changing the way they ask things, so the child understands better.
Working WITH your child to help them learn new things is the way forward and the only way to help them build independence.
So, how can you take a step back and help your child be more independent?
For more ideas on how to help your child be more independent, learn more skills and progress quicker join ‘The Unlimited Autism Success Inner Circle’ where you’ll get heaps of tips, guides and plenty of videos helping you support your child and achieve more.
Click here to learn more and to join
Speak with you soon until then,
Live every moment, Love beyond words and make a difference today
Emma Ottaway
The Ambitious Autism Ambassador
