One of my most favourite things to do in my ‘down time’ is watch documentaries. I didn’t enjoy learning whilst at school but in adult life my mind has opened like a parachute and I enjoy nothing more than curling up on the sofa, putting my phone on silent and allowing myself to be absorbed in a good documentary.
And my favourite type of documentary has got to be a one of Louis Theroux’s…
Louis Theroux is a British documentary filmmaker and broadcaster. He is best known for his documentaries in the TV series “Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends” and many more.
He often delves into extreme social issues and raises awareness through his own personal documented experiences. He has covered everything from “death row” to “religious kults” to “gang crime” to “transgender children”.
Some of you that follow Louis’ work might be aware that he has also covered a documentary on Autism, but I will save that for another day.
What I want to share with you today is his documentary on Dementia.
As Louis typically does in his shows he met with a range of people and families affected by the decease. He spent time getting to know these special people and told us their story.
I can honestly say it is a show that will stay with me forever.
One of the people he met was a man, no older than 40. Who decided, along with health professionals to place his Mother into a institute that specifically cares for people who suffer from Dementia. Tom visited his mother each and every week and Louis had organised that he and his film crew could tag along with Tom to see what it’s like to visit a loved one in this setting.
What followed was very distressing, I won’t lie to you.
Tom’s mother had lost almost all her speech and 90% of the time was a very well looked after but nevertheless a very confused lady.
Knowing this Tom came prepared. Each and every week he would bring his iPad with a folder of old photos of precious moment captured to show her as an attempt to jog her memory a little.
In this folder of photos were also pictures of Tom as a baby and growing up because sadly most of the time she did not recognise her son when he came to visit.
So back to me on my sofa….
I’m devastated for Tom (and in the process, I’m breaking off and eating far too many cubes of galaxy chocolate, in the hope to feel better.)
I mean how incredible of him.
How strong.
That’s a show unconditional love if there ever was one?
My eyes stayed fixed to the screen…
Tom told told the film crew that although so much of the time his visits were emotionally challenging for him, that 10% of the time, that 1 time out of 10 visits, she would recognise him.
So it was worth it.
Tom was following his Mother up and down the hallway in the institute when he revealed a picture and his mother stopped, physically. She stopped mumbling stopped moving and she looked at Tom.
She rose her hands and she touched Tom’s face and a slight smile appeared on her face.
Tom smiled right back at her…
“Hi Mom!” He said
Well at this stage the galaxy chocolate was gone and tears were running down my face.
The beautiful moment only lasted for a short while and when Tom’s mother removed her hands and continued walking up and down, Tom looked at Louis and said…
“It’s visits like this that make it all worth it.”
As you could probably imagine this really touched me.
It also got me thinking about autism and more specifically parents of autistic children.
Do you as a parent or career stay at positive as Tom?
Are you ruthless like Tom?
Do you come prepared like Tom does?
Do you focus one little successes rather than the multiple struggles like Tom?
None of these things are easy to do, don’t get me wrong.
But they are essential when raising or teaching children with autism.
One thing I know for sure is that Tom is an inspiration. Not only to other family members affected by Dementia but to any person going through something tough.
I know the next time I hit a hurdle with an autistic child I will think of Tom.
I hope you do too.
Speak with you soon until then,
Live every moment, Love beyond words and make a difference today!
Emma Ottaway
The Autism Support Specialist
