Offering choice is a lovely way or helping your child feel more in control of their life, and it builds upon their decision-making skills also.
I’ve even read that when ASD children feel in control of their lives they are more likely to interact successfully with others and their environment.
When giving your child choices, it’s important to phrase the choices as a positive.
Instead of thinking about what you DON’T want your child to do, think about what you DO want. This will help you phrase it in a more positive way. Here’s an example:
Instead of: “Brush your teeth or Mummy will be cross.”
Say: “Let’s brush together, who will finish first?”
There are many different types of choices you can offer some will need to be more concrete, whereby your child will have to answer you. For example:
“What would you like for breakfast?”
This is an open-ended choice which children with ASD often find difficult to answer. Plus, if they aren’t fully aware of which foods are appropriate for breakfast then this could lead you into a new problem altogether.
Instead, try something like: Would you like jam or peanut butter on your toast today?”
Or instead of “Go and put some shoes on now please.”
Say: “Put on either your red trainers or white slip on shoes.”
Teaching your child that some choices they make might have a natural consequence is also a great life skill. For example:
“Hold the kitten gently, because if you squeeze too hard, he might scratch you.”
If your child made a choice to then squeeze the kitten, this is an opportunity to teach your child why it happened. I.e. “The kitten scratched because you squeezed too hard.”
They’ll be loads of natural opportunities you can offer these choices to your child in their everyday life…
But remember it’s not just about offering your child choices you MUST also…
Make sure you’ve given them enough time to make a decision.
Encourage them, tell them they can do it and praise them for making good choices after.
Make sure the choices are motivating for your child. Offer choices of things they like to eat or wear for example.
Finally, don’t overload them with choice, offer two choices to begin with adding more choices when their decision-making ability increases.
While you’re here…
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Speak with you soon until then,
Live every moment, Love beyond words and make a difference today
Emma Ottaway
