There’s one little word that we use so often in life, and we expect answers straight after. We sometimes ask it out of anger, frustration, curiosity or even to be reassured.
… And that’s “why”.
But when caring for Autistic children we often forget that the majority of ASD children do not know or understand why they’ve behaved in a certain way.
For example, he may have shouted at his sister because he can no longer stand the overwhelming smell of her nappy!
Or
He might hate the texture or tightness of the clothes you dressed him in one day and it all got too much for him in the coffee shop, so he stripped off.
But because he can’t express these reasons to you he behaves in the ways shown above.
Now, these situations naturally, trigger us to say “Why did you do that!” But this is something you as a parent/ carer need to change, because asking why will only put unnecessary pressure on the child and is likely to make the situation escalate quickly.
If you’re sat there reading this thinking, “But what should I say?” Here are some examples…
- What do you need to do now?
- What did you just do?
- Was that a good choice that you just made?
- What could you have done instead?
- What can we do now to make sure that doesn’t happen again?
Test out these new questions when appropriate and let me know how you get on.
Speak with you soon, until then
Live every moment, Love beyond words and make a difference today!
Emma Ottaway
The Autism Support Specialist
